Ten Years And Three Months
by sherwhotreksings
Summary: The Doctor whirls around, coat fanning out behind him and floppy hair falling in his eyes as he speaks, "River? Are you…" He sees Rose and doesn't finish his sentence. He slumps backwards and steadies himself on the console. "What? How? You?" "Looks like I'm in the right place."


Rose moves closer to the button. Dare she press it? The Doctor had fixed the dimension cannon and made it more compact, now only a small hand held device, in case she ever wanted to go back. Now she holds said button in her hand, debating whether or not she should press it. It's been years since she's seen him. She does the math; 10 years to the day since she's seen him, 3 months since her's... it still hurts to think about. She needs to see him, even if he isn't the right one. She hesitates, finger poised over the control. She can always come back can't she? She hopes the coordinates are still locked onto the TARDIS as she makes up her mind and presses the button. She stumbles as her feet find purchase on the gridded TARDIS floor. That was another thing the Doctor added, the ability to get her inside the TARDIS no matter where she is. She catches a glimpse of a trash bin a few feet away from where she's standing and she runs over to it, promptly retching the contents of her mostly empty stomach into it.

The Doctor whirls around, coat fanning out behind him and floppy hair falling in his eyes as he speaks, "River? Are you…" He sees Rose and doesn't finish his sentence. He slumps backwards and steadies himself on the console. "What? How? You?"

A million different emotions flash though his eyes in a second and Rose, who had gotten very good at recognizing them, catches them all. Rose wipes her mouth on her jacket sleeve.

"Looks like I'm in the right place."

The Doctor's eyes jump back and forth between Rose and the bin she just threw up in. "Right… ah… I should probably do something about… that." He motions to the bin and sort of shuffles around, never breaking eye contact with her. "Follow me." He picks up the full bin and walks towards the trash disposal.

"Wait." Rose says. The Doctor stops and turns around, then she continues. "I need that again."

He willingly, and very quickly, hands her the bin. While she throws up, he holds her hair back for her and cautiously pats her back.

"Thanks."

"I should probably take you to the infirmary now."

They head down the hall in silence. They don't have to walk too far however, because the TARDIS moved it closer for Rose's sake. She sits up on one of the beds, crossing her legs at her ankles.

"So… how did you get here?" the Doctor questions.

"Dimension cannon. The other Doctor modified it to make it hand held in case I ever wanted to come back or visit."

"How long has it… how long has it been for you?"

"10 years… You?"

He pauses a second, he knows exactly how long it's been; 6 years, 7 months, and 17 days. "Almost 7 years."

Rose nods to herself. Did she already know the answer?

The Doctor raises his sonic screwdriver to examine her. "Where is he then? The other one?" he says with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

Before he can though, Rose reaches up and puts her hand on top of his, lowering the device a fraction. "He's dead," she says bluntly.

His arm falls to his side, shock evident on his face. "How? How'd it happen?"

"We were both working for Torchwood at the time. We were on a mission, they said all threats had been neutralized already." Rose looks up at the ceiling to try and keep tears from spilling out. "They didn't know there was still danger. I went into the building first and he followed. I didn't see the sniper, but he did. He pushed me out of the way, but got shot himself." A tear slides down her face. "It was horrible. The bullet wasn't a normal bullet, it was laced with poison and since it wasn't a direct hit to the heart or brain." Tears are streaming down her face, but she doesn't stop. "He laid there, fine for a second. We all though he would live. Then the poison kicked in. He started convulsing, it looked like he was having a seizure. There wasn't anything we could do because by the time we got him back to the cars he was dead." She takes three short quick breaths to try and get her crying under control, but it doesn't work.

He slips the sonic into his pocket, scan momentarily forgotten. The overwhelming need to comfort Rose and make her stop crying, overtakes him. He slides onto the bed next to her and puts an arm around her waist. The small movement sends her in a downward spiral, it feels exactly same as when he did it. She turns into him and clutches his lapels, crying into his shoulder and he leans into her, trying to offer some sort of comfort.

"Doctor did you want something?" River calls. She passes the infirmary and then backs up as hears the crying and sees motion out of the corner of her eye. "Doctor are you?..." Her view of Rose is blocked by the Doctor.

He jumps away from Rose and moves towards River. Rose slouches forward without the Doctor's body to prop her up and River's eyes open in surprise.

"Who is that?" She eyes Rose suspiciously.

"Um River… this is Rose."

This time it is Rose's turn to be surprised. "You're River?"

"The one and only."

"He certainly wasn't joking about your hair." She says between shaky breaths.

River shoots the Doctor a questioning look and the Doctor raises his eyebrows. This is yet another way he was different from his counterpart. He wouldn't have ever told Rose about River, especially the new him; he didn't either.

"Care to explain, Doctor?" River leans towards him and places her hands on her hips.

A pang arrows through Rose's chest as she sees what River is wearing. She has on a silky green bathrobe that falls just a little below her knees and a set of light green pjamas with white polka dot shorts. She's not quite sure why it hurts, he is allowed to have his own life. He is a different man after all. She was lucky enough to have one Doctor.

He takes River's arm and turns her so that he can face her while still having his back to Rose. He quietly tells River what he knows. Every once in a while River looks over at her. She feels almost self-conscious, not being able to hear what the Doctor is telling River. Rose looks away and when she looks back at them River is staring. Rose watches her out of the corner of her eye. Is that jealousy? What is he telling her?

"Doctor, she really can't stay here," River says just loud enough for her to hear.

"What am I supposed to do? She doesn't have anywhere else to go right now. I can't just leave her somewhere."

"Send her back. She doesn't belong here now. She could rip a hole in time."

"I don't know if we can even send her back right now."

Rose almost hesitantly speaks up, "Doctor… I can't go back. Not now, not yet. Let me stay just a little longer."

River sighs and storms away. The Doctor just stands with his back to where River left and Rose puts her head between her hands, then she stands up and leaves in the opposite direction of River. He swivels to face the way River went, and then the way Rose went. He turns back and forth between the two, not sure what one to choose, but he makes up his mind and runs.

Rose starts off running but soon tires and stumbles. Her stamina isn't what it was, especially now. This TARDIS is different from the TARDIS she knows so she ends up half stumbling around, trusting She will take her someplace remotely familiar, and hoping she'll be able to avoid the Doctor and River for a few minutes. She stops and rests up against the wall, trying to catch her breath before she continues. A doorway appears in front of her and she goes through it. It takes her to a room she hadn't known existed.

The wall is covered in pictures and the room is divided into uneven sections like an art gallery. She wanders through each path looking at all of them. They are mostly pictures of a ginger girl and a blondish guy. There are some of him in his previous regeneration with her, some with Donna, and some with Martha. The room seems to never end as she moves towards the back. Tenth regeneration turns to ninth, ninth turns to eighth, turns to seventh, turns to sixth. Somewhere along the way she sees a young Sarah Jane. She reaches the back and finds a small room lined with shelves. The door would have been unnoticeable except for the fact that a panel in the wall was slightly cracked. The room is about the size of a closet and is mostly empty. It only has two lonely boxes in it. Both boxes are cardboard and have lids to them. She pulls one box down. Inside are some very personal pictures of River and the Doctor. She leafs through a few, guilty because it feels like she is intruding on some special moment. River in her pyjamas; River asleep on a couch in some room; the Doctor kissing River on the top of her head. She stops and shoves the box away, not wanting to look at anymore. She feels like she has been replaced. She was never really his though, they never made any commitments to each other. He is a different man, different body, different personality. She has to remind herself of that often now.

She stares at the other box, not really wanting to open it, but her curiosity gets the better of her. This second box is obviously older and possibly used more. She tentatively pulls off the lid and looks inside. These are all pictures of her from what she can tell. Pictures of them walking together, holding hands. Pictures of their movie nights. She comes across one particular picture that brings back such a strong memory. A tear slides down her face. Looking at the ones of her and him she can almost feel the way his arms felt when they were wrapped around her. She can almost feel his lips pressed to hers.

The Doctor goes after River, but the hallway changes as he runs. He curses at the TARDIS for changing where he's going. Hoping that She's taking him to River and not away. A sense of dread comes over himself as he sees where the TARDIS has brought him, to the picture gallery. He sprints to the back and his hearts squeeze when he sees the open door. Inside he finds Rose sitting on the floor, surrounded by pictures of her and his 10th form. When she sees him she quickly wipes the tears off her face with the palm of her hand. He crouches down and picks up a few of the pictures littering the floor to look at them with her.

"I remember this day." He holds up a picture of Rose covered in a blue goop. "That alien sneezed on you. As big as a dinosaur, that one was."

Rose chokes out a laugh. He brushes some pictures away and sits down on the floor by her. She pulls the hair out of her face and turns to look at him. What she sees does not help her mood.

"Is that… um?..." She brushes her finger across a gold band on his finger.

"Yeah… is."

"You and River?"

"Yes."

"You should… you should go to her." She takes a shuddering breath.

"That's where I had tried to go, but the TARDIS took me here instead." He hadn't meant to say that out loud and he can see it hurt her bad, but it's the truth and he can't take it back now. She starts picking up the pictures and puts them back into the box. Then she walks away, leaving him to put both boxes back on the top shelf.

Outside the photo room Rose bumps into River.

"Oh jeez, I try to go to my room and She sends me to _you_," River comments.

Rose tries not to take offence, but it stings. She points over her shoulder and then scratches her head awkwardly. "He was… he was just looking for you. In-in there."

River brushes past Rose, but Rose grabs her arm, deciding last minute on saying something else.

"Listen, River, I don't want to take him away from you. I…I didn't come here to do that."

"Then what did you come here for?" she bites back.

"Imagine your Doctor was dead, but out there, somewhere, there was another version of him. Wouldn't you want to find him even if he wasn't per-say the right one?"

She looks down, embarrassed by her behavior. She does indeed know how that feels. She nods and then Rose lets go.

~o~

In the morning Rose is already in the kitchen, with her hair pulled back, and normal clothes on, when the Doctor finally shows up. She hands him a cuppa and warms her hands with one of her own. She leans against the counter with her feet crossed at the ankles, subconsciously mimicking the way her Doctor used to relax.

"So… River and I have something to take care of today, you can come with if you want," the Doctor informs her.

"I don't know. Not sure whether I can handle an adventure today."

"Ok well how 'bout a trip to earth?"

"Sure." Rose takes a sip of her tea. 'I wasn't…" she gags then tries again, "I w…" She sets her mug down on the counter and hurries to the closest bathroom.

The Doctor sets his mug down and follows her. He hears her throwing up. "Rose are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah…Just…having a hard time…adjusting."

"Maybe you shouldn't come with then." He fidgets awkwardly outside the door.

"No, no. It's ok. I'll be fine as long as it's not too strenuous," Rose says while trying to catch her breath.

A little while later, after Rose cleaned up, River joins them in the kitchen dressed in her exploring clothes.

"Where to today, sweetie?" River asks, skimming her hand across his back.

"America!" he says, drawing out the word and purposely over pronouncing it.

The trio steps out of the TARDIS and the Doctor closes the door with a flourish. It's the first time Rose has seen him actually lock the door.

"Um… Doctor," River says, panic in her voice.

Rose is studying this new Doctor and the Doctor has his back to River, so she is the only one to see them. The Silence is here. He spins around to see what's shaken River so much. His eyes go wide.

"Oh. This is not good. Not good at all."

Now it's Rose's turn to look in the direction everyone else is. "Doctor what is…" She turns her head to look at the Doctor. "What is it? What's wrong?" She follows his line of sight. "Doctor what's that?!"

River rolls her eyes.

"The silence…"

Rose looks back at him again.

"As soon as you look away you'll forget them."

"Forget who?"

"The silence."

"What's that?"

"Them." He motions with his head.

This whole conversation takes place within 30 seconds, then River is drawing her gun and screaming at them to "make themselves useful and shoot!"

The air is suddenly filled with lasers and lightning. The Doctor pulls out his sonic screwdriver and starts pointing it wildly.

"You aren't doing anything!" River shouts at him.

"Am too! I have my sonic!"

"Exactly! You aren't doing anything!"

Rose, meanwhile, backs herself up against the TARDIS and silently wishes she hadn't come. This is wrong, she was wrong for deciding to come here. Thinking she could just drop back into this lifestyle after years of not being here in this world, with this version of the Doctor, with his aliens. She was wrong, so, so wrong. Part of her thinks she could just step right into the middle of it all and end it. End her pain. End the never ceasing heart ache and the endless crying that she's felt since he died. She couldn't do that now though. A month or two ago, if she had been in this situation, yes. She would have. She wouldn't have even hesitated. Now though… A bolt of lightning flies by her head, hitting the TARDIS behind her. Unarmed and without a key to the door, Rose screams to get someone's attention. Neither River, nor the Doctor come to help her. River shoots what they hope is one of the last three silence. Lightning bolts are still flying everywhere and getting progressively closer to hitting Rose, no matter how much she dodges them.

Finally she yells as loud as she can, "Doctor I'm pregnant and I really shouldn't be in this situation at the moment!"

His mouth drops and he chances looking away to lock eyes with Rose. He vaguely registers River firing her gun and wonders what for. Are they in danger? Why did Rose just say she's pregnant? River finally kills the last silence and glares at Rose. A worried look passes over the Doctor's face, one that he doesn't bother to disguise. He quietly walks over to the door and unlocks it.

"I think we should go. River?"

Rose goes in first, then River, and then the Doctor.

"Why didn't you just tell me you were pregnant?" Suddenly it all makes sense to him. Her subtle evasion of being scanned by the sonic screwdriver when she first got here. Her throwing up so much. The fact that she looks just a hair bigger than he remembers her to be. That one wasn't quite so noticeable yet.

His quiet rage frightens her. She's never seen any of the Doctors she's known act like that, sound like that. Let alone instill so much fear into her. She shrinks back. "I didn't want you to know right away, I wanted to find the right time, but after I saw you with River I really didn't want you to find out."

"lf you had told me I would have…"

Rose cuts him off, "Would have what? Sent me back to my own world? Not have let me leave the TARDIS?"

Her outburst leaves him stunned, this isn't the Rose he remembers. Sure she's just as head strong as before, but she wouldn't have ever yelled at him like that. Other him dying was harder on her than he thought. He puts himself in the mindset of his last generation and imagines what he would do if Rose died. His hearts feel as if they've ripped in two. He probably wouldn't live if she died and if he did stay it would've turned him into something else, something colder, more hardened to emotions, but it also would have broken him. He realizes that that's what he is now because in a way she did die to him. He shakes his head to bring himself back to the present.

"Let me at least make sure you're ok."

Rose's face softens and she nods her consent. The Doctor pulls up a scan on a display screen.

"Everything looks fine. You're, what, three, almost four months along?"

"Um, yeah. I think. You know… I never got a chance to tell him." She rests a hand on her stomach, it still isn't a natural thing for her to do. She figures as time goes on she'll catch herself doing it more and more.

"Rose, I think you should go home now," River says forcefully.

"Why?" Rose places her hands on her hips and stands with her feet shoulder width apart.

River flounders, confused as to what she should say in reply. She most certainly hadn't expected Rose to fight back. Rose lifts an eyebrow.

"It's unsafe for you here. That's why."

"I'm just as safe as you."

"Yes, but you have a baby and I don't."

"That means nothing."

"So you'd risk your safety and its safety just to be here? You're that irresponsible, that you would put your baby in harm's way and-"

Rose bristles, "Don't you dare say anything about my responsibility!"

"Um… ladies?" The Doctor looks very uncomfortable.

"Why? Is it because you don't have any?"

"Who do you think stayed with the Doctor when he was depressed about the time war? Who do you think helped him get better? Who do you think took care of the TARDIS when he couldn't, or brought him food and made him eat when he was too depressed to eat? Me! I did! And when I was in the parallel world, who never gave up? Who took care of Tony when mum was busy?"

The Doctor inches back slowly, unsure of how to defuse the tension in the room, and not wanting to get caught in the middle of the cat fight. Rose starts pacing back and forth, practically raging. Her ponytail swishes behind her. River backs up too, both eyebrows about 10 feet above her head.

"Who stayed up late when the Doctor was sick and couldn't hold any food down? Who cleaned the flat and held a full time field job? Me! I'm going to have to hold a job, clean the flat, and mind the baby all on my own! I think I'm responsible enough! I think I know what I'm doing! I think I know how to handle myself! I'll definitely be able to take care of the baby by myself! I'm not going to let it down! I'll be fine, the baby will be fine, everyone… everyone will be fine!" She takes a deep breath and lets it out in a huff. The last few sentences betraying her mask of anger and showing some of her insecurity and worry.

The Doctor eases out from behind River and places a hand on Rose's shoulder. "Rose. You'll be fine. You'll make a great mother."

She searches his eyes, looking for, and not finding, the spark her Doctor had whenever he talked about her being a mother. As much as she wants him to be, this isn't the same man. He doesn't have the same feelings for her. He isn't excited about the fact that she is technically carrying his baby. It's his baby in some form.

"I think you should go back though. Whatever you came here for, you aren't going to find. Rose I… I'm not him. Now, you need to go." He reaches under the console and hands her the pocket dimension cannon.

"Yeah I guess." She flips the switch to set the coordinated back home. Her eyebrows furrow as she stares at the floor, then she looks up. "Will I ever see you again?"

The Doctor opens his mouth and shakes his head. "Uh… no… no, I don't think so. I disabled the dimension jumping part. After this you won't be able to come back."

"Then this will be the last chance I'll have to… I love you. Remember that. I love you and always remember that it wasn't your fault. Please." She steps closer and runs her hand down the side of her face.

His breath hitches. He might not admit it, but he has missed the way she looks at him, the way she touches him. He won't ever show it though. He's let her go, shut down that part of himself a long time ago. She stands on her toes and kisses him. It's a soft kiss, not one of want or passion. One that says oh how I've missed you and goodbye at the same time. River clears her throat and Rose steps back. The Doctor opens his mouth to say something and a tear rolls down Rose's cheek. She presses the button and dematerializes before he can speak.

Back in Pete's world, Rose collapses on the floor. Tears are streaming down her face and she vomits, not even caring that it gets all over the floor. She curls up into the fetus position and let's herself cry.


End file.
